(no subject)

[kipperfish]

A day in the life of Me and my Content Management System for our internal Intranet - or at least, the bit that I look after.


Higher Power: Hey, You, fix this intranet page. I need this link changing, and this looks a bit ugly. Need it spaced better.
Me: Yes Sir.
*fires up the CMS*
Me: Ok, first off, lets make this look pretty.
CMS: What do you mean? It's already pretty?
Me: No it's not. Look, that table there. The test in the columns almost run on so that you get "linknamelink" rather than "linkname link"
CMS: Yes? what's wrong with that? It's beautiful. Saves on space nicely.
Me: I want them seperated. So, let me resize your columns.
CMS: No.
Me: what? *right-click - size - new size*
CMS: No. I will not resize my columns.
Me: *right-click - size - new size*
CMS: Fine. Make me do it then. New column size it is.
*columns now are wide enough to draw comparisons with the Grand Canyon*
CMS: Happy now?
Me: No. They are huge. I don't want them that big.
CMS: Tough. It's one of the other.
Me: *right-click - size - new size*
CMS: la la la la .... I'm not listening... lalalala
Me: *turns on HTML mode*
CMS: Hah. I can screw that up too! Watch me cra......
*crashes*
Me: *sigh* Restarts program
CMS: Hah. Let that be a warning to you.
Me: *turns on HTML mode*
CMS: *sulk* But hey, I can still annoy you. Watch my formatting go...... SCREWY!
*formatting goes screwy*
Me: *sigh* closes CMS
CMS: WINNER!
Me: *goes to database, pulls out HTML from there and creates page from scratch by hand and notepad*
CMS: *Gasp* Shock horror! What have you done! NOOO!! MENDOOOOZZZAAAA!!
...
Me: Right. About this link change. Think you can handle that Mr CMS?
CMS: Yup. Sure thing. *smug mode*
Me: Ok. Now, the link is http://myintranet:1000/Wiki/page?testmenow
CMS: Nah. That's not a link. Of course, you meant http://myintranet/myteam/:1000/Wiki/page?testmenow
Me: Like hell I did! That page doesn't even exist. Now, change it back to http://myintranet:1000/Wiki/page?testmenow
CMS: Hehe. See what you've done there? You've got the link wrong again! Don't worry, I'm cheerful enough to accept your mistake, and correct it for you. Link now changed to http://myintranet/myteam/:1000/Wiki/page?testmenow
Me: Muhuh? Ok, *goes into HTML mode*
CMS: What are you doing?
Me: *hunts out link* Why on earth have you put an extra /CMS in the link? Why? give me one good reason why??!!
CMS: Because that's what you asked me to do.
Me: No, I asked you to change it to http://myintranet:1000/Wiki/page?testmenow. Now, I've changed it in HTML mode. Save it.
CMS: Okely Dokely. I still think you're wrong.
Me: *loads up page* *looks at link* WHAAA!!!
CMS: I did tell you. The link should be as I have saved it for you - http://myintranet/myteam/:1000/Wiki/page?testmenow
Putting anything else in is simply foolish.
Me: *grrr* *sigh* Ok, you leave me no choice. Back to the database it is, for yet another new page from scratch, completely ignoring the CMS
CMS: what? you've hurt my feelings now. You're going to regret that.
Me: *goes to pull information out of the database. gets half a page*
Database: Sorry Dave, I can't let you have all of it.
Me: Why the hell not? And who is Dave?
Database: Sorry Dave, you can't go around upsetting the CMS like that and not expect repercussions.
Me: Give me the code, and stop calling me Dave.
Database: You don't want to do that Dave.
Me: Just give me the damn code
Database: No.

*sigh* So, I think I have beaten it by getting the page source from Internet Explorer but really, it's no wonder my hair is going grey! Why are automated tools so singularly useless??!!


K.

Comments

[stafford-fgm.livejournal.com]

*big huggles*

[almosthonest.livejournal.com]

-dies at the "Sorry Dave"- I like your final work-around. Although even that could be defeated by a suitably dedicated evil automated tool...

[kipperfish.livejournal.com]

I probably will be defeated next time around. It's learning I tell you, learning! Soon it'll start making toasted sandwiches with my bread...

*twitch*